Tuesday, October 18, 2016

My guy’s birthday

You held me when I was in pain
And never let my efforts go in vain
In my love, you even started to like rains
My love for you is insane.

Harmless cribbing and nagging
Is just my thing
I hope you bear with me till another spring
And, I can hear you sing.

The leaves may shed and the colors fade
But our bond can never be grayed
Sitting under the stars, as we played
You have always been my strongest aid.

You are the prince, from the fairy tale
Happy and hopeful, as we sail
Here’s to another year, as you scale
Let’s fancy it, like your favorite cocktail.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Need to be fixed

I feel numb, neither too happy nor too sad, and sometimes too moody, splutter out things I shouldn’t have. I know it is nobody’s fault, it’s just that everyone wants different things from life, so nobody to be blamed. The comfort I am looking for is not in things, I would never achieve them out of objects, but then why this dissatisfaction, whatever is, is enough.

Life couldn’t have been better, love at its best, all I need to ask myself is, what is holding me from being ecstatic, is it more love? Or more attention? Or more things? Am I this greedy, or am I too selfish, what about selflessness, what about others before self? So many apprehensions, yet no doubts, I know everything clearly, yet this confusion! Who will take me out of this? Or do I like my place, and never want to be out of this. Because I like self pity, poor me.

It feels like I have all the answers. But the constant pressure that I feel, is it only in my head? Nobody has said it loud, and I fret if it is ever told to me. I keep saving myself from several outcomes, and have a constant fear of people around me. I feel weak and under confident and mostly wear a fake smile all along.

People love plastic, they love it if you do stuff to please them. But time is running, and I feel out of time to do things that I love. I am in a need of constant support , which I keep taking from a few. But I want to stand on my own feet, why this dependence on so many people for my happiness? Why can't I be , what I want to be. I am constantly pushed towards a goal which was never mine, so I can never be sincere towards it. It feels messy inside out! Will I be able to fix myself, no clue!